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Queer Madison Mixtape: Summer's Ends

by Queer Madison Mixtape

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1.
I'm filling up boxes I'm now the age you wouldn't tell me when we met And at the time I didn't know how you'd amassed so many books But now it's something I get My phone keeps reminding me What we were up to when I was 23 And I get lost in all the colors we wore in a single outfit Give me your hand and I'll hold it like i've never held another hand before I wanna say I'd treat you better this time but I don't predict the future anymore I'm every man before me It's ok if you ignore me but There's a weather in the spring that reminds me of you I wanna drag out the closure so we keep talking Maybe I'm crazy But I think I'm just confused There's a weather in the spring that reminds me of you I'm afraid to say your name 'cause I know I said it wrong I would love to share the stage but I forgot all my lines I'm a Gemini moon and you're a Taurus Are we real if no one else is rooting for us Give me your hand and I'll hold it like i've never held another hand before I wanna say I'd treat you better this time but I don't predict the future anymore I'm every man before me It's ok if you ignore me but There's a weather in the spring that reminds me of you I wanna drag out the closure so we keep talking Maybe I'm crazy But I think I'm just confused There's a weather in the spring that reminds me of you
2.
[verse 1] when was i born when did i taste the afterlife when could i recognize myself apart from another whose skin was torn who cut the cord, who held the knife who broke the bread to forgive the love of my mother [pre-chorus] day by day, a little more believable i can't do anything else spent my loving on a whim go on, let bygones be more grievable don't keep the heat for yourself keep me, keep me boiling over the brim [chorus] everything is ok there's nothing to be sad about in this lifetime you could be another person to me you're lucky in a way you're everything without in this lifetime of forgetting [verse 2] when was i born when did i dread the end of days when could i rest my eyes, lay my cheek against a lover's chest whose clothes were worn in the morning when we parted ways who broke the silence in exchange for a day of rest [chorus] everything is ok there's nothing to be sad about in this lifetime you could separate another 180 degrees you're lucky in a way you're everything without in this lifetime [outro] i feel a change, i feel it in my collarbone a big pain oh when was i born oh when was i born i feel a change, i feel it when i'm not alone do i look the same i feel a change oh when was i born high key, off kilter bone by bone bodybuilder small key, when to enter leaving kisses on his fingers like splinters and if sadness is in your hands let me crack your knuckles if sadness is in your plans let me press your luck if tuesday's child stays full of grace if anything can be replaced then there's nothing to be sad about nothing to be sad about nothing to be sad about nothing to be sad about
3.
real life / real life / real life / real life ... staring at the picture of yourself on the screen life i know what you'd say to me today, you're tired of running away and making my way someway somewhere when i'm running away (x2) now that it's over you pull yourself away from the end... you got it, i'll be honest, what to feel or to say... you're out of my line but you want it to work anyway away... you had enough of trying to find, i had to work away... far away, floating away, i hadn't found out a way to you... we're running like "fine, this is really the way"... real life / real life / real life / real life ... staring at the picture of yourself on the screen life (x2) Music description: Mid-ranged, mumbly autotuned vocals float through a blurry wash of plucked chords, drum machine drum rolls, and ambient digital synths.
4.
DEAD LANGUAGES, 2021 DEMO VERSION *ethereal, marimba-like bell tone pattern plays* SIGRA: I have never been that good with grammar All my inclinations are wrong I mistranslate and stammer I come on too strong Never quite belong But when she tongues those pretty questions Im flung into a past dimension No pretension just declensions I can finally decipher in sound This is syntax so sweet Semantic placement so discreet No one else would know but me She speaks to me in Speaks to me in *heavy bass comes in* SIGRA: Dead languages Oh oh Dead Languages Oh oh She says this feeling’s not a phase Just discovered like a turn of phrase In one of those Dead languages Oh oh Dead languages *all background falls away, only the bass remains* SIGRA: She’s such a gymnast with that mouth I finally get what all those love songs on the radio are about *a drumbeat comes back in* SIGRA: She knows all the connotations Of all the little things im saying With my eyes Inaudibly Phonology Of the Of the body *all background falls away save ethereal bell tone* SIGRA: This is syntax so sweet Semantic placement so discreet No one else would know but me She speaks to me in Speaks to me in *Heavy bass and drums return, along with the entrance of a reverb laden electric guitar* SIGRA: Dead languages Oh oh Dead Languages Oh oh She says this feeling’s not a phase Just discovered like a turn of phrase In one of those Dead Languages Oh oh Dead languages *all background falls away except the ethereal bell tone. Sigra’s voice layers on top of itself, creating a choral style harmony* SIGRA: Dead languages Dead languages Dead languages Dead languages *silence, after a three count Sigra inhales sharply, leading into a searing electric guitar solo as the rest of the background instrumentation rejoins* SIGRA: Dead Languages *fin*
5.
Lyrics: I work all day/I'm not around Audio description: the song opens with a humming cacophony and arpeggiated tinkling synth tones. Ethereal vocals layered for drone-y effect come in. Distorted vocals continue over a cacophony of layered synth tones. The synth tones fade out, as do the vocals, and the song ends with several upbeat notes.
6.
7.
And I could tell you/ My truth/ But what good/ Would that do? I want this to be/ For me.
8.
Song description: A morose and bittersweet observation of the futility and importance of trying to fall in love in a period of fast-paced (and often fleeting) interactions. Lyrics: Boy with the bright blue eyes Must he disguise what terrifies him? Taken for granted Left in the dirt to plant the seeds of doubt Boy with the golden hair Why do you sit and stare into the sea? What could be there that you can't find yourself? Something else Why do we play this game? What would we do if we could even- Winter is here Come be the first to lose your useless pride At least you tried Girl with the checkered past What will she do when true love doesn't last? Onto the next one keep on trying dove All for love Come one and all Let's play a game Don't lose your pride Just put it aside and roll that fucking die At least you try Oooooh~ Snake eyes
9.
This demo of Kat and the Hurricane's Resonate (from their 2021 album The Sorry EP) is much more stripped down than their up-beat indie-pop tune, featuring vocalist/guitarist Kat quietly strumming their guitar and singing softly for most of the song before building some energy after the final chorus. The overall sound is very soft and raw, 4and the phone recording picks up some dead air. Song title: Resonate [demo] Lyrics: Through time and space It resonates Through time and space It resonates After you're gone After you're gone You showed me what it means to be The best version that I can be Feels like i’m finally waking up And I cannot thank you enough Fought myself for so goddamn long Reflections and I never got along But now I see there’s no need for me To be so mean to me Through time and space It resonate Through time and space We'll resonate [ Instrumental ]
10.
Description: A treble voice, sometimes dividing into harmonies, croons against the backdrop of an arpeggiated electric guitar and organ. Bonnie reaches for the soles of my feet Fingers in the carpet, her hair all over me mama’s screams pile up at the top of the stairs (You know I was there) Now in the quiet in the times we don’t speak Her shame trickles and it covers me I dim the lights and I trace the edge of the screen I try to live clean But there’s songs in the car, your crumbs in my bed Every hymn we knew turned gay in my head The summer so hot; when your daddy lied Didn’t make it out in unison but we made it out alive Hear your name and it’s an open wound Loving you is gettin sick on the fumes I shrink a little every time I pass you at school (Or down by the pool) Cause Bonnie you can play it straight tilt your head just right But here’s it’s just me, in my body, in this drafty room tonight And I hope one day Youre gonna lay down the fight it’s not our fight Till then there’s songs in the car, your crumbs in my bed Every hymn we knew turned gay in my head The summer so hot; when your daddy lied Didn’t make it out in unison but we made it out alive We made it out Bonnie reaches for the soles of my feet
11.
Lyrics /Musical description *lyrics start immediately with a full band in a 60s pop/rock style* *the plotting bass and drums hit at steady rhythm as a sickly sweet guitar cuts in* *it sounds like it’s being played through a tape or boombox, lo-fi with crackling sounds* *a girl’s voice in perfect baritone begins* I love the way you move your arms I love the way you turn your head I love the way you speak your mind And say the things that should be said *the song suddenly gets even sweeter, a chorus that never ends* *girl switches to a falsetto, a falsetto so angelic and feminine that nobody on earth thinks it sounds bad* Everyday starts off wrong When I wake to an empty bed It’s this life of compromise That’s made me lose my head *sweet, little retro guitar solo like The Beatles are taking candy from a Holiday Inn* Everyday starts off wrong When I wake to an empty bed It’s this life of compromise That’s made me lose my head Everyday starts off wrong When I wake to an empty bed It’s this life of compromise That’s made me lose my head *Is the sort of repetitive sweetness that is both warm and familiar, and sickly like drinking too much iced coffee* *the chorus repeats a few times with the angel’s falsetto, a cheezey 60s guitar, and a trailing sweet riff that cuts off after a minute 30*
12.
Musical description: one vocalist sings to a simple, slow celtic harp and harmonizes with herself. The steady but slightly irregular rhythm is meant to evoke the sound of a wave on the shore. Lyrics: Cross the sand to the ocean shore. In the air, a song: "love the land no more." Feel our melody as the cold silver waves Soothe the sand, gently slip away. Lay yourself down in the sea. Gaze into the sky. Rise and fall on the waves. Take a breath and close your eyes. Sink into our arms, gently slip away.
13.
14.
Song inspiration: Often times when people break up, that's the end of their relationship, not just as lovers, but as friends, too. This song was written for someone that I will always love and will always have in my life because even though we're no longer lovers, we'll always be friends because the love we have for each other has been there since the beginning of time. Lyrics: I know I'm not a savior I know I'm not a pawn Just a speck of stardust Trying not to get it wrong Our hearts are drawn together Of this, I know Just as Cupid's arrow Is drawn to its bow Yes, we've known each other Since the universe began We're two stars colliding Over and over and over And again... The dip of your hip Is as soft As the petals Of a flower I could lay My palm there For hour After beautiful hour Dance my fingertips Across your gentle skin Rest my head on your chest Listening to your slowest heart beating Again, and again... Your embrace, it just calms My winding soul So that it's painful To have to let you go I have never Known a love such as yours So present, so perfect So aware, so pure I meant it when I told you That I'll never leave your side I know it's overplayed But I'm gonna love you for the rest of my life And again... I know I'm not a savior And I know I'm not a pawn Just a tiny speck of stardust Trying not to get it wrong Again
15.
I don't quite wake everyday Blinds pulled I reach towards reality To stumble through the motions of living life Mostly I guess I'm functioning but My mind it is a haunted house these days And I can't pretend that anything feels ok The ghosts come in and I can't get out I am forgetting something all the time But somehow I get by I wish I could remember what it was like When I used to be happy sometimes I can't see where I started Been spun around wanna get off And stand still on the other side
16.
I'm feeling okay If okay means anything it used to I'm feeling alright If alright means questioning my gender and feeling kind of confused... Then I guess I'm okay. Okay ((drawn out and shifting over chord changes)) Okay ((drawn out and shifting over chord changes)) Okay ((drawn out and shifting over chord changes)) I'm feeling just fine and I hope this song finds you just as okay too take a deep breath we'll make it through

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released September 7, 2021

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Queer Madison Mixtape Madison, Wisconsin

Queer Madison Mixtape is a Compilation of Low-Effort Recordings by Local Queers in Madison, WI.

We created a space for local queers to connect and share their quarantine tunes.

Donations for downloads will go to making Communication–a safer, sober arts and music space–more physically accessible.

QMM Collective Members: Jess Waggoner, Jennifer Bastian, Shaun Soman and Lindsay Welsch-Sveen.
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